Episode 13 - Ketamine Trials and Fungi While Pregnant
Transcript (transcribed programmatically - for all spelling/grammatical errors, blame the robots)
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Welcome back to the MUstaSH ROOM.
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I'm your host David Ben and on this episode we get a visit from Patrick.
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He just went through a series of ketamine experiences to help combat some depression and some suicidal thoughts and some other things that were weighing him down.
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His experience is amazing, very positive, very transformative and I can't.
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Can't wait for you all to hear that we also get a visit from wifey. Jill Ann. She talks about mushrooms and pregnancy. She's 27 weeks in.
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And there are a lot of health benefits to mushrooms, but also some pitfalls and she talks about raw versus cooked mushrooms and just some other things that are really pertinent to being pregnant and trying to maintain your overall health.
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This podcast there is a central theme with Academy experiences where depression and suicidal thoughts can really kind of weigh you down.
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And Patrick found ketamine as a way to kind of dig his way out of that hole.
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I personally went through about 10 years ago, a really deep state of depression with my own suicidal thoughts.
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Never actually went through with anything, but it was it was a low point.
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My sister sent her husband to come get me and bring me home because she felt like I was just too volatile.
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Ann right around that time my sister had a daughter and I now had a nice.
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And a new reason to live.
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And I wrote this poem.
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Form to kind of convey how I felt after this new beautiful thing and came into the world. So if you want to hear the Palm Garden Fast forward a couple of minutes, we are always brought to you by MUstaSH brands an MUstaSH. Brands.com MUstaSH room is on social media and the web. MUSTASH is how we always spell it.
00:01:46
Enjoy Episode 13 of the MUstaSH room. Here you go. I wrote this poem in 2011, shortly after my niece Miranda was born.
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Hello.
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It's called "Last Quest I On"
Why are you yet to return my calls
For help, but did you see my fall
Was there not desperation in my pleas
Did you witness my collapse, and just let me be
Same questions, last drop of hope
My voice is tired, and there’s no more rope
This stay of execution is self-imposed
Eyes closed, hands merged, so here we go
Why do you continue to let me exist
Why do I sometimes engage, but mostly resist
If I chose a path with more checkpoints, would I be this astray
If I learned to fight before my mind closed, would I now be fighting to stay
Is it possible for me to ever love myself
Is it fair to then ask that of someone else
If leaving wouldn’t shake the family tree, would I still be here
If these questions were asked posthumously, would the audience cheer
Had I come to your house or read your book
Would it have changed your mind or convinced you to look
If you don’t respond this time, my calls will cease
Speak now or forever I’ll be at peace
My eyes are now open, I’ve parted my hands
Caught a glimpse of an angel and now understand
You knew quitting was something I’d never let her see
I heard her say “Uncle”, before you heard it from me
00:03:19
You had done some ketamine treatments in a local facility.
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You said you had a handful, five or six different.
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Francis.
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Yeah, it was and I'll give a shout out to the place and I want to give a shout. It's called Clara San OKLARISANA, you can go to their website, there in Austin, Denver Westminster, which is just you know between Boulder and Denver and some other place a couple other places then they're expanding.
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OK.
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And.
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And again I I called in answered some questions.
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I don't have a psychologist or psychiatrist.
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So I don't have a doctor.
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You know, and nobody and and which normally you think I've gotta get sent there by a doctor well in some cases, yeah in my case.
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I answered a bunch of questions and ultimately I answered the questions the right way, and then.
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My insurance or I've got Colorado Medicaid, it covered the whole thing other than a $39.00 deductible. So and they're very reasonable. I believe you can get 6 treatments for under 2 Grand.
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Wow.
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Without insurance or anything through them and most most are much most are like more like 5 grand for that same experience.
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But for 39 bucks, holy crap.
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OK now first.
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There are low cost deal and hey.
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I'm telling you you don't need you know you don't need a fancier chair.
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Really now for people that don't know, ketamine is.
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Is that a tranquilizer?
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Like what is it?
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Is it?
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Is it classified, I know.
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I know it's dissociative, but I don't know what it's classified at.
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The best of.
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It.
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It's it's it's in initial use and its approval through the FDA was is as a dis associative tranquilizer OK.
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And and it was.
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Used as early as 1960s, Vietnam War was first used on the ground in Vietnam. It's an it's still regarded as the best choice through Navy seals current modern day because you can anesthetize someone completely and their heart rate an lung mostly they breathe.
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With no problem and and so you can do all kinds of work without it, but we don't feel any of that.
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So there's not a real.
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Not a real dire health risk if you're going to take it.
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No, not at all the.
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Well.
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One thing, whenever I heard of ketamine and I I've never done it, so I don't know.
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You know what the experience is like?
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People always were and I don't know if this is an urban myth.
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The rapid decay whole everybody talks about the K hole you slip into a K hole and that is that something that.
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Did anybody educate you on that?
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Is that a myth?
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Like do you know anything about what I'm?
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Talking about yeah, I don't know you know, I I did, I've heard about it, too, like when I I did dimethyltryptamine.
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Check out that episode, but I did DMT with a woman who told me about K holes and this is about probably 8 years ago.
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Now yeah and.
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And she was you know you know just but I I don't know.
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I you know all I can say is, you definitely go somewhere and it's you know sure it can be dark like my first experiences were darker than the rest were just like I mean, you're gonzo so but again, I'm.
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Let the I'll tell you about all six grants if you actually like.
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Yeah, yeah, so you you.
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You sought out the ketamine you said you were just you're depressed, you know you wanted to kind of get some relief from the depression or where there are.
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Yeah, out of fairness out.
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More things that factored into it.
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Of fairness, it's it's it's best purpose is within Depressio.
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Yes.
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In.
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At least currently I know I again. My my new belief Is everybody benefit from this 100% but.
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OK.
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Its typical use is.
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For people who are treatment resistant within depression and also suicide who are either suicidal or suicide have suicide ideations, which I definitely dealt with, and I kind of had pretty strong depression.
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Oh, I mean, it for 13 years.
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And and suicide ideations since I was 8 years old.
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So.
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Oh.
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You know, so I mean, some level of depression and then what I've just realized I kind of didn't know this until quite recently.
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But I've been I've suffered from anxiety.
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My whole life and didn't know it.
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I feel good.
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Like I thought I was too competent to be anxious, but that's not true well man.
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Made I tell you, I I I give mad kudos to Lexapro because without it the anxiety was crippling in time so.
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I completely empathize with that.
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Yeah, my mind was but I just didn't know what I thought it was depression, OK, but it was in fact, anxiety and.
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OK.
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So so yeah, so.
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You know, thankfully through plant.
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Medison mushrooms, you know psilocybin.
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DMT I in meditation first that lead that led me to both those things and now this but.
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I had I'd.
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Gotten somewhat of a handle on it.
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But I couldn't erase.
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Uhm the pathways, it was so easy for me to think about suicide even though I'm in a great place like I'm in the best place of my life in almost every facet I can imagine.
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It's awesome and.
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You seem like a happy dude, so nobody would really suspect that.
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If I use it.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean.
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You you know only for a good while and I you've always known me since I've been doing comedy.
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And comedy was a savior for me, too.
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I should mention that but not everybody can get into that.
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So I don't want to like say, Oh, comedy get into comedy sure I would say get into.
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Plant Medison that's easy to come by.
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Well, be at for people that don't know.
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Comedians are notoriously sad and tortured, so it just makes sense that you know you and I anxious.
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I mean it's it's kind of par for the course in that genre of entertainment.
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Oh yeah, it's it's the thing we rarely really, really talk about we joke about we don't talk about.
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Truth.
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And so, so yeah, so I I fit that year like again 13 years ago, just for the audience listening audience.
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But I I went through real big low lows and depression and and and more than just suicidal thinking.
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But.
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You know advanced stuff and.
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And and then sought out treatment you know, realizing I kind of hit my my bottom point in in and different.
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It got assigned all kinds of names as far as bipolar you know manic.
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You know, making at least right, I don't even know like every single possible thing was given to me and every drug was given to me over the course of a year and a half and ultimately I was just really, really you know, I was dealing with anxiety.
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Depressant
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Yeah.
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An an also dealing with a really bad environment.
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I was in a terrible marriage and and I thought I was stuck.
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You know forever and and and you know, and it was just and you know, so anyway, I had no coping mechanisms.
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Well, let's talk about that.
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You said Pharmaceuticals.
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They put you on a bunch of Pharmaceuticals, yeah, did.
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Yeah, everyone.
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Everyone.
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Did they act as just kind of like a stopgap to give you a little bit of relief?
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Did they do anything?
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Yeah, times like you know the best thing I remember was I don't know which one of these put some kind of sedative it's pretty common but.
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You know, yeah, they they and then Adderall like 2 'cause I was a DD and ADHD and that's probably the closest thing that I could have been described as?
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Uh.
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But like you know, but still like I don't like being up 3 days in a row or not sleeping until 4:00.
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Every single day.
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When I'm not sleeping for days in a row.
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You know like that sucked and didn't matter how productive I was like, yeah, great oh.
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I got all this done and you know, I'm as crazy person Oh yeah.
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Well I got miss got misdiagnosed with.
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ADHD as well an my main symptom was anxiety.
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So for some reason the industry has a habit of kind of crossing those those streams, which is weird.
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Well, here.
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'cause I mean for me when I took Adderall same thing.
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It just made my head a mess of things I couldn't control and I was up.
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Instantly, so I mean, if that's the cure for anxiety.
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I don't know.
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Yeah, I I I can't imagine you know that's it.
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You know, and I'm still kind of dealing with with well.
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I'm like coming through this thing right now, so I.
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I don't know what I would diagnose myself with I just know that, like I've almost got a clean slate in a lot of ways.
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You know that's one thing that I've come out of this experience with feeling more of not and also the ability to have distance from my thoughts so.
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That's great, you get to look at your thoughts and examine them objectively good.
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Yeah, yeah, definitely and you know, and now.
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To not put the cart before the horse, but you know like now things that used to really bind me up or get my or maybe like a suicidal thought which could still be rendered.
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I now have the ability to not feel like a piece of **** pardon my French for it.
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Sure.
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To not like think goddamnit, I'm crazy, you know, or think you know any number of things that you can go through because ultimately like I'm not present at that point.
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I'm not present like and that's you know, I've gotten you know, I had a lot of lessons from this, but one of them is to let go.
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And to remain present, yeah in the second again.
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Here's a tip for you listeners.
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The second you catch yourself talking to someone not in the room.
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You're not present because a present and I no no that's me that's what I've learned from myself.
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Now do they train you on that before you go into the experience, huh?
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Awesome.
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These are things that I've discovered about myself.
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You know through this.
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Very cool.
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Yeah is that you know like anytime.
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I spend time in the past in the future.
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But I don't spend that much time in the future.
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I other sometimes.
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It's
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I do and it's usually optimistic so I don't mind spending time a little bit of time there.
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But I'm typically you know, thinking about the past or or or sometimes a negative future but either way.
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Like I'm just not here at that point I'm so not here.
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And that's what I'm really getting.
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Awareness up and so, so yeah, so it's really great.
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That's awesome, man.
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I mean, you know, I've I've just.
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Developed you know, such a greater awareness of that night.
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I don't know if that comes with this directly.
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I mean, I put a lot of work into my life over a long period of time, along with comedy hypnosis you know, I've done these things.
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In in first effort to fix myself.
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The first reason, I learned this you know was to work on me.
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Yeah, it wasn't the like.
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Oh, I want to do a comedy shows like no.
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I want to fix myself and that that again.
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That's all brought me to this moment thank goodness you know.
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I love that man and the thing that I can relate to because I had a lot of the same perspective in the same relief from some of my macro doses of psilocybin.
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After those experiences that things that pop up that would torture me, they would just create a feedback loop that was just continuous and debilitating.
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I can hash those out in meditation and so when I when I go into a morning meditation.
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Session following a macro dose of psilocybin.
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Whatever comes up.
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I can handle it in meditation and it doesn't even monopolize my entire meditation session.
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So it kind of made me like you said.
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I look at things very differently, but I'm able to look at them with more objective eyes and knock them out as opposed to making them something that will cripple me for the day.
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Or God knows how long because they stick.
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In my head.
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Yeah, and and that's something that I've only you know, kind of recently come to realize too, is the clarity.
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I wake up with after mushrooms, Oh my God, like it feels so good to be like oh because it's almost like you're looking at this thing kind of thing for the first time.
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Takes away the the the Blinders, that kind of give you that monotony of the day today that you don't realize all the minutiae of all the things going on.
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With mushrooms, I wake up and go OK, you know, I feel clear you know like I feel good.
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But with this thing you feel.
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Visceral like you feel.
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In some ways like you've literally been re wrapped reboot.
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Wow.
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Learn from the ground up like you built the universe back up to this visual thing an it's like oh OK.
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Fine.
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Well if in in with that in mind.
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Everything is clear like what else.
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If you just rebuilt the universe to look like this.
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Then of course it's clear because well, you just made it like this.
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You know, like they're really feeling.
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So like a sense of just optimism and contentment, and you've kind of figured it out to an extent.
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Yeah, yeah or yeah and I don't wanna see resignation like.
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Uhm, in some like.
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You know, yeah, I mean optimism.
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Sure definitely.
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But I I just like being resigned is part of this experience too.
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Fully submitting OK yeah.
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Uh-huh
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Let's let's talk about the actual physical experience.
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So you said you had five or six of them.
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What did you actually do?
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What was the process like to go in and undergo the treatment?
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Well, they recommend that you don't have a lot in your stomach water.
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You know food or drink.
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What otherwise within a few hours of it 'cause it is a sedative and or if yeah anesthesia.
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Sometimes there could be nausea to go along with it.
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They offer you a Zofran and you could also have it prescribed if you wanted it.
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In advance they gave it to me and I just put it under my tongue and it did the trick.
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Stomach discomfort.
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I never really had any issues and it's kind of a tasty little thing that prevents nausea.
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Yeah, and so they recommend getting a ketamine playlist, which I found.
00:16:51
Uh, there's a number of them. The one I would recommend I think, has like suggests 852 megahertz or something or whatever it is. Either way, it's awesome. I didn't realize how important it would be until like through it, and if I forget it's because of the fact that you can go back to this place.
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OK.
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Like that with this music you can really enter a very similar place.
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You know in some ways re experience.
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So like hypnosis.
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Kind of I.
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Mean you know?
00:17:23
Sure why not?
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It's all hypnosis anyway, so sure.
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Yeah firstly.
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We also work ourselves into whatever we want to think, so Yep.
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Yep.
00:17:29
00:17:29
So something that reminds you that experience you can actually put yourself back in that memory.
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Oh for sure. Yeah, yeah yeah. Especially because this music is so entrancing in Mace, it's really relaxing. I'd recommend it. Like you know, if you do again Ketamin playlist, you'll see this thing 852 Hertz or whatever. I'll share it with you so you can maybe put it in the links or something, but it's fantastic and just great to meditate too. But it really. And here's a real hypnosis thing.
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Awesome.
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*******
00:17:56
Whatever it does, it anchors part of that music to the experi.
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Yes.
00:18:01
Ann Ann.
00:18:03
And so, like there's pieces of the experience that I'm able to come back with because it's like I can I go, I revisit it and I can almost remember, revisit each experience.
00:18:04
Right?
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In some ways, the most being the most pronounced.
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But even though it, you also have a measure from the thing a little bit, so you're not going to remember the whole thing.
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Some people don't remember.
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Any bits in a lot of it, like I'll forget 90% of it and then it'll come back later in the day or.
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The next day, interesting.
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And it's you know.
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So yeah, so you basically there's there's this clinic.
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With a few offices very chill place, they check you out.
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Of course kogate style.
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Make sure everything is fine.
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Check your blood pressure and your pulse to make sure you're OK.
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'cause you do, you will get a spike in blood pressure, so if you have some blood pressure issues, there has to be some.
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Consideration for that OK?
00:18:54
OK.
00:18:54
00:18:56
And if you wanna make sure you're under medication that day or whatever, either way, that wasn't the real concern of mine.
00:19:01
But it's funny.
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I'm not a very big sweater like I just don't like.
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I'm Lesson plan hoops or whatever, but when I went to the bathroom like it was like, I just been like, you know, really, under the gun or under some cat you know under my you know, so it's just.
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Yeah.
00:19:14
Well, now that was that was after the experience.
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Yeah, that and that was just laying in the chair for 40 minutes, but I had swept my ah.
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OK.
00:19:20
So you know, for whatever 'cause it may, you know.
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I guess it'll make your heart, you know, be.
00:19:26
OK, now did you have?
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Was there an intention or a like pre experience process to kind of put you in the right mindset?
00:19:35
No, no, they they recommend taking it easy throughout the whole process like before and after.
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Not exposing yourself to the negative stuff you know they recommend maybe staying away from social media or the news.
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Don't put yourself. You know that kind of stuff you know, like just really take it easy. Allow yourself to take a nap later. 'cause there's it's. It's a 2 1/2 hour.
00:20:02
Half life, which works out to five hours of it dripping down from your last push.
00:20:09
And so because of that.
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One thing my partner said to me was she said after I did it the first time and every time, but if you've ever seen men in black, there's a character who takes on like a human body.
00:20:27
Yeah.
00:20:27
He's simply a cockroach and he's very.
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Awkward and like moving around 'cause he's trying to work this whole.
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Thing that's what I was like, at least because and.
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And you can't drive on this.
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Do not drive home.
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Get a Uber.
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I ubered back in my partner took me back.
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Other times, but like you, you may think you can do stuff, but like you realize hours later, you're still like you know.
00:20:54
Like Howdy duty in this, in this weird way.
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So for those of you not watching him, that's all of you.
00:21:01
But like I was just doing it hard to be impressed, but.
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So, so for the rest of the day, you're you're still in that kind of you're still recovering from the experience.
00:21:09
You are yeah, and and you want to take naps and you want to listen to your music again and you want to revisit and you know and you want a Journal like I've never journaled and I haven't journaled as much towards the end of the experience but the first couple I wrote a lot and I've never written a lot.
00:21:26
You know a lot for me and and the other thing is I.
00:21:29
I.
00:21:30
I started writing like I started writing a bunch actually with this other writing thing I'm doing, but like it's just helped to release things, but.
00:21:39
Uhm, I would you want you.
00:21:43
You will start journaling.
00:21:45
It is good to put things on paper, and you know, I've had ways of thinking that.
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You know, it's.
00:21:50
You know otherwise you'll lose them, you know, and so it's it's really good and and to consider.
00:21:56
And it brings you back to what you experience because you're getting these messages in a sense from yourself during the experience and you're just kind of recovering it when you're journaling so.
00:22:04
I love it.
00:22:05
Now you're in there.
00:22:06
Are you in there by yourself?
00:22:08
Is there any sort of supervisory party or anything that's making sure you're OK?
00:22:13
In some in the higher end deals somebody sits with you OK in this one nobody did, and it's I don't think it's whether it's a higher under lower end deal.
00:22:17
OK.
00:22:17
00:22:24
It's the fact that I wouldn't have wanted somebody with me like the best way and I've done.
00:22:28
I did the research for those of you at home.
00:22:31
I I did it already.
00:22:33
People don't want to be messed with on this.
00:22:36
And I I wouldn't want to be talked to an I wouldn't want to be that vulnerable like screw you like I'm going to work this out of myself, you know?
00:22:44
Like I don't wanna I you know whatever I'm going through like let me work this out and be alone and and because I that's what that's what the studies have suggested that people like don't want to be messed with and so.
00:22:59
I'm happy that I got the minimalist approach, and so and basically I had my headset on.
00:23:05
I had these blindfolds that I that I wear.
00:23:10
Called mine Folds made by Alex Grey. You can buy them for 1499. They're great and.
00:23:16
Uh, so I had these headphones on and then they check my pulse blood pressure and then they give you a shot in your rhomboid in your your your your shoulder basically shoulder muscle an if that's the right thing an yeah I think so and.
00:23:27
OK.
00:23:34
Sounds good.
00:23:37
One of my favorite shapes is a rombas, but so they give you one of those and then you you put your headset down and I would recommend it.
00:23:44
I I wouldn't want to be called or like have to deal with.
00:23:47
Whatever else is going on in the room, so you pull that down and for me again, there's a little bit of an experienced psychonaut. The first bit, even as the first day I got, they start from 60 milligrams. I'll give you that. They start with 60 milligrams and go up to 200 milligrams. And not everybody goes to 200 milligrams.
00:24:01
OK.
00:24:07
That's like a high dose, I guess so.
00:24:10
That throughout the experience they may increase the amount OK.
00:24:13
Yeah, yeah so.
00:24:14
So for instance, the first day they were going to start me at 60, so he gave me a shot of 30.
00:24:20
And then and then at 15 minutes they come back and they check on you and then 'cause it takes 15 minutes for it to be absorbed.
00:24:28
I guess by the muscle.
00:24:30
So then they check on you.
00:24:32
And then they administer the second dose, and so he checked on me and asked I was doing and I was doing right and he said I think I'm going to go up to 50.
00:24:39
So they went, you know?
00:24:40
So the total would have been 80 for the day and I said great, you know.
00:24:44
And I didn't.
00:24:45
You know, expect a lot.
00:24:46
You know, 'cause sometimes the first one wasn't a lot.
00:24:49
But what happened was I went from being very relaxed like and I I felt like I was still in the room just like my whole body was completely chill.
00:24:59
To my vision it went.
00:25:03
It like got sucked away in the sense that I felt like I was as distant as the character and get out.
00:25:09
For those of you have ever seen the movie?
00:25:10
Get out here.
00:25:10
Yeah, in the chair.
00:25:11
And I would wear when this character is in this deep, hypnotic thing.
00:25:15
It you feel like he's 50 feet away from his conscious view.
00:25:20
And while someone else has taken it over the other movie, I've told my partner, but it would be like being John Malkovich when you shut the door.
00:25:27
And sure, you get sucked into this thing and you've got this distant conscious view.
00:25:30
OK.
00:25:33
That's what for me, and also, especially if you're in the Colorado area.
00:25:37
For me, it felt very much like.
00:25:40
I so I'm sitting there with my goggles on.
00:25:43
I got my blindfolds on.
00:25:46
But instead of and but it got a little light within them.
00:25:50
It wasn't as black as they felt, but now it felt like I was wearing goggles with a helmet on and I was 50 feet under an avalanche of snow like I didn't feel like a crush, but I felt like.
00:26:04
The closest thing to hearing me or see me was at least like that kind of distance and pack an I spent the next 20 minutes there.
00:26:09
Now, did you?
00:26:12
Wow.
00:26:12
00:26:13
Did you feel intimidated or afraid of that sort of feeling?
00:26:18
Oh yeah, for sure I did, I now I I wouldn't say and now I didn't feel intimidated or afraid.
00:26:19
OK.
00:26:25
That day that first one, because again I had some experience with altered States and was expecting this expecting something.
00:26:33
Gotcha.
00:26:34
And also it was a very very deep.
00:26:37
You know again, and I was also I'd heard so much the keyhole Keyhole.
00:26:40
So I was expecting something that was going to put me deep into something anyway.
00:26:43
Yeah.
00:26:43
So it's like OK, alright so I'm deep into this thing.
00:26:46
This is what I should be getting and when I came out of it I felt pretty good I felt very relaxed again I was wonky as hell.
00:26:55
Like I an I I wanted to pee because the one thing you want to do is flush this out like the only real downside.
00:27:03
Even to the drug when abused, which I would highly recommend is, and there are some downsides of course, but like you can damage your urethra or you can damage.
00:27:19
Well, you know that's.
00:27:20
I.
00:27:20
00:27:21
**** **** you could damage **** ****
00:27:23
Yeah, OK, for the yeah.
00:27:23
Yeah, I mean you.
00:27:23
00:27:24
Sure you can take it.
00:27:24
I mean you.
00:27:25
Read that is.
00:27:26
That's a core of the deck.
00:27:27
So yeah, I definitely want to damage my deck.
00:27:28
Yeah, yeah, so well you.
00:27:29
Can you can in your bladder you can affect your bladder and stuff like that, so because of that like but that's with high high doses when it's used as a party drug it's at high high doses these.
00:27:40
These are miniscule, if not fractional doses, even at the highest dose you can get at a clinic compared to what you do at a party, and it's also clean and it's put in the right place like there's a million reasons why this is not that this is not the horse tranquilizer that people worried about in the 90s for called K.
00:27:40
Yeah.
00:28:00
Whatever was your special day or whatever.
00:28:00
Special K.
00:28:02
Uh.
00:28:02
It's good to know, so you really have to abuse the **** out of it to get to the point.
00:28:05
You have to push that.
00:28:06
Where you're that volatile OK?
00:28:06
Where you're volatile, OK?
00:28:07
Yeah.
00:28:08
Correct, yeah, and I'm sure it's lethal.
00:28:10
Dose the LD 50 on it's gotta be.
00:28:12
Through the roof OK?
00:28:14
So, but in and again, this is in a whole other place, but.
00:28:20
Uh, so anyway, the first experience is like I came away from it, but it gave me enough distance even in that first day that I could observe thoughts I couldn't have before wow.
00:28:33
And within that first day I, I don't want to say like I was forever changed, but like.
00:28:40
I wasn't like I was able to deal with everything like that.
00:28:44
I couldn't in a sense that it would become overwhelming or I would be like God.
00:28:48
You know, when can I can I move away from that?
00:28:51
Like I couldn't get away from my own thoughts in some ways, yeah, but I absolutely could.
00:28:55
Even after just one kind of experience with this.
00:28:57
That's fantastic, so did you notice throughout the multiple experiences? Was there some sort of iterative process, or were you able to kind of determine where else you wanted to go with it, or whether it was 25% complete, like what was your assessment midstream?
00:29:14
Well, how come?
00:29:17
I would say midstream I could.
00:29:19
I noticed intermittently that I was dealing with everything better all around and that like an even though in midst I mean perfectly midstream.
00:29:30
I remember well.
00:29:32
I remember like I got kind of upset with my kids.
00:29:36
You know, in in in that terrible, but like in a way, I would have preferred not to have been involved and you know.
00:29:42
But.
00:29:43
Again, like.
00:29:46
You know I can.
00:29:46
I still have a distance and the ability to learn and grow.
00:29:49
And you know, and you know again.
00:29:51
It was a very minor thing, but in this kind of vulnerable state that you're in when you're doing this, it makes it you know everything is a little bit larger, maybe so emotionally where you know so.
00:30:03
OK, So what?
00:30:06
But but but you know.
00:30:08
So I went into it with just.
00:30:11
You know wanted, like relief from like not great thinking you know again and I'm I'm pretty new to just realizing that I have anxiety or doubling guy.
00:30:19
So the fact that I've always called it and dealt with it is something else like I just need to organize better.
00:30:24
Sure.
00:30:24
I need you know, like if that's if I've got a DD I need to work on this and I've got this.
00:30:28
I need to do this, you know.
00:30:29
But if if I've got anxiety and they never called anxiety and never deal with it, well.
00:30:34
I'm screw.
00:30:36
You know it doesn't matter what else I do.
00:30:38
Uh, and so ultimately, like this gave me distance from anxious thoughts that I realized, you know, are unhelpful.
00:30:46
That's awesome.
00:30:46
Like that's, you know.
00:30:48
And now now I separate.
00:30:50
I can parse them, and now I don't get them that often either.
00:30:53
Like maybe once a day I could.
00:30:56
And I'm only saying that just.
00:30:57
Because.
00:30:58
I don't wanna be hypocrite when when I have a thought though here it is that once you know.
00:31:02
But like maybe once a day I'll have like the same thought.
00:31:05
I could have gotten dozens to hundreds of times a day before.
00:31:08
And it doesn't kill you.
00:31:09
It doesn't monopolize you.
00:31:10
No, no, no.
00:31:11
I recognize it for what it is I recognized as some ****** thought that's not me.
00:31:16
And doesn't you know I don't have to sign off on her own or represent.
00:31:20
And then it's gone.
00:31:21
You know, I just have to observe it.
00:31:23
Bro, that is, that's really inspirational 'cause.
00:31:27
I mean, I'm sure you know a ton of people I know a ton of people that are on anti depressants decades and decades and don't ever get that clarity.
00:31:34
They just kind of have something to block the emotions or, you know, suppress their ****** thoughts, but they never get that sort of relief where you feel like it will be sustained.
00:31:43
Yeah, segment?
00:31:44
Now where do you get?
00:31:44
00:31:44
Where do you get the mushroom shared?
00:31:45
I got nothing when you saw me.
00:31:47
You saw the mushroom sure mushrooms.
00:31:48
Sure, mushroom sure.
00:31:48
00:31:48
Bang Mushroom City.
00:31:49
But you can't stop with the mushroom shirt.
00:31:51
Now let me show you.
00:31:52
Some look at that Gerard did you go?
00:31:55
On inside was special mushroom yes.
00:31:58
And we are back once again with my lovely wife Jill.
00:32:03
Hawaii.
00:32:04
How's it going?
00:32:05
I'm feeling pregnant today.
00:32:07
27 weeks.
00:32:09
Tomorrow, officially in the 3rd trimester.
00:32:10
2 Morrow.
00:32:13
3rd trimester now are there more trimesters?
00:32:16
I mean, the 4th trimester is.
00:32:18
Oh, there are more.
00:32:19
I was 'cause I try.
00:32:21
I thought you know.
00:32:21
Third, try.
00:32:23
Well, they say the 4th trimester, but you are right is after the babies delivered is going 3.
00:32:28
OK.
00:32:29
Science after the baby is kind of is your question yeah.
00:32:31
I think it is a trick question so that's why I wanted to ask.
00:32:35
So the 4th trimester.
00:32:36
So basically once you're done with the 3rd trimester, it's still not over.
00:32:40
There's a fourth.
00:32:41
Well, the 3rd and then baby out and then 4th begins so after birth postpartum if you will oh.
00:32:45
OK after birth.
00:32:47
Word.
00:32:50
I eat.
00:32:50
When you hear a postpartum, usually hear it as a prefix for depressione.
00:32:54
To describe if so.
00:32:54
Yeah, the postpartum can be anything post birth right.
00:32:58
Right so.
00:32:58
00:32:59
So.
00:33:00
So technically it's postpartum.
00:33:02
We need to promote more types of postpartum activities as opposed to just depression.
00:33:08
I feel like postpartum gets a bad rap, 'cause it's almost always included with depression, so let's go with like postpartum jumping jacks or postpartum bubble baths.
00:33:08
Yeah.
00:33:13
Naturally.
00:33:19
Yeah, so partium in Latin.
00:33:23
Means birth OK.
00:33:25
So post is after so like after childbirth.
00:33:29
So yeah,
00:33:30
So technically it is after birth, but we need to get depression.
00:33:31
So after birth.
00:33:31
So after.
00:33:33
Is monopolizing postpartum right now?
00:33:36
Oh for sure.
00:33:36
We need check.
00:33:36
I mean on all the blogs it's like.
00:33:38
Oh, postpartum breastfeeding and like just like all these like little things.
00:33:43
You're still breastfeeding, so you can't like dose up on mushrooms to have that level of therapy.
00:33:49
No you can't.
00:33:49
I guess you.
00:33:49
I guess.
00:33:50
Could you could like pump a bunch of breast milk?
00:33:52
Do some mushrooms?
00:33:52
When you could, but then how do you test to make sure it's out of your system?
00:33:57
That's true, I don't know of any home kits for psilocybin.
00:34:00
Or or any drugs for that matter, like alcohol you can test for, but I'm not sure of like.
00:34:04
Good point.
00:34:07
I don't know like we yeah.
00:34:07
Now like we'd like how long does that technically in your milk supply afterwards.
00:34:13
I I have no idea maybe there's a test?
00:34:15
Maybe there isn't I don't know.
00:34:16
Yeah, it's a tough one.
00:34:18
If it were me, I would try to like find that window, pump pump pump, shroom pump pump pump from from from back and forth back and forth.
00:34:26
And I mean it work.
00:34:27
That may be for you, but not everyone has that same type of schedule.
00:34:28
I know.
00:34:33
Well, since I'm not a sea horse, I will not be doing that.
00:34:36
No.
00:34:37
You'll be doing all the physical stuff and I will be there to support you and in support of you.
00:34:40
Yes.
00:34:42
I did some research and I discovered that there were.
00:34:46
Some ostensibly kredible blogs that talked about women pregnancy and mushrooms, and I figured it was a relevant topic.
00:34:54
Not only because you're pregnant and I love you.
00:34:56
And I want you to be safe, but also because the podcast revolves around mushrooms, So what can you tell us today about what pregnancy and mushrooms?
00:35:05
How they can converge safely?
00:35:07
Yeah, well, I think we've highlighted quite a bit of mushrooms.
00:35:10
You know, so far throughout this podcast and you know, we speak highly of the minerals B vitamins.
00:35:17
The fiber content.
00:35:20
You know the low calorie.
00:35:22
You know nutrient dense food that mushrooms can provide and all of those.
00:35:27
Are great in pregnancy so we are not talking about magic mushrooms?
00:35:32
OK, alright I was gonna ask alright just to make sure.
00:35:33
Those are forbidden?
00:35:36
Yeah, there's just been too little you know of studies really no evidence at all supporting you know what the effects of Psilocybin would be on a fetus.
00:35:46
And really you just you don't risk it, you know, there's a lot of things that you have to cut out being pregnant.
00:35:53
You know whether it being like deli meat and hot dogs.
00:35:56
You know from the risk of Listeria 'cause Listeria.
00:35:59
Can you know you can literally kill your baby so?
00:36:03
I appreciate your sacrifices really and.
00:36:04
Yeah, no sushi, No alcohol.
00:36:05
I have asked that time.
00:36:09
Oh, I just want a glass of wine.
00:36:11
I have asked at times would you like for me to abstain as well, hoping that you would say no and you said no so I want to thank you for all.
00:36:18
Those times I mean, it's it's you know what we both don't have to suffer I can live vicariously through you.
00:36:20
I mean?
00:36:20
00:36:26
Oh, you're so sweet.
00:36:27
Yeah, so just talking about mushrooms in general, so in pregnancy.
00:36:32
You know normal culinary mushrooms.
00:36:35
Non magic mushrooms are all generally safe.
00:36:39
You know in pregnancy.
00:36:40
I mean, we're talking.
00:36:40
In Portobello and she tachi and Lions mane eat.
00:36:46
Those you know in pregnancy.
00:36:48
They will support you know a healthy diet.
00:36:50
But something when it comes to raw mushrooms and and we usually cook.
00:36:55
All of our mushrooms right.
00:36:56
We do, yeah.
00:36:57
But just you know like on a salad bar you might find.
00:37:00
You know button mushrooms like sliced up.
00:37:04
Generally, I can't really say that I've seen other mushrooms consumed raw.
00:37:09
Yeah.
00:37:09
They're mostly cooked, but raw mushrooms are something that should be avoided in pregnancy because they do have trace amounts of carcinogens, which you know can be cancer, causing.
00:37:21
What is the carcinogen again?
00:37:23
So the carcinogen.
00:37:25
He told me but I already forgot.
00:37:27
Yeah, so they have a toxin hydrazine, which is found in Portobello mushrooms.
00:37:33
And and then she talking mushrooms contain a naturally occurring form aldehyde, yeah, so these are just some of the chemicals.
00:37:43
I know that there's a few others out there, but they're all heat sensitive so the second you cook them.
00:37:48
Those are killed Oufan, then it's magically transformed into A.
00:37:53
You know a a cancer fighting you know quality of food.
00:37:58
Yeah, and really in pregnancy, it's
00:38:01
You know erring on the side of caution because you're growing a tiny human and inside of you so your immune system is generally going to be lower than someone.
00:38:12
That's not pregnant.
00:38:14
You don't want your body to fight off your baby.
00:38:16
You know you want to support it and avoid as many toxic.
00:38:22
Sickness is covid I mean that's why pregnant women are you know higher risk, you know when it comes to.
00:38:29
Kovid So So Yeah, at all costs avoid the raw mushrooms.
00:38:35
I don't know that it's a craving for many people.
00:38:37
No.
00:38:37
No, we talked about it in.
00:38:39
The previous episode.
00:38:40
We talked about kite in the outer shell and how that's hard and difficult to digest and there's absolutely no reason to put that extra strain on your body, so back to your point, Kokam.
00:38:51
Eliminate any thread eliminate the kite and that could cause stomach discomfort and you don't want your body fighting your baby.
00:38:59
Is what you said and I I agree with?
00:39:01
Yeah, it's just in in a lot of times, too, like when you cook foods.
00:39:01
Yeah.
00:39:01
00:39:06
You know, sometimes you know, people think Oh well.
00:39:08
You you cook it.
00:39:09
You're going to lose nutrition well.
00:39:11
Other foods when you cook it.
00:39:12
It increases the nutrition.
00:39:14
So I would throw mushrooms in that latter category of you know, cooking it, making it easier to digest so you can.
00:39:23
Truly pull out all of those nutrients from within get those vitamins get those minerals you know to.
00:39:32
To basically to support your your diet and and feed your baby.
00:39:36
I love it.
00:39:36
Yeah, and you know in pregnancy and an even leading up to pregnancy.
00:39:40
Folate is an important vitamin folate so it's a B vitamin and it's essential for brain development and.
00:39:42
But it went full aid.
00:39:52
Preventing certain diseases, I don't say diseases.
00:39:57
What's the word I'm looking for this is baby brain by the way you know this is so like Spina Bifida.
00:40:01
Yeah, illnesses afflictions.
00:40:05
Oh, disorders, OK with Spina Bifida that and for anybody that doesn't know what spina bifida is if you've seen shallow Hal.
00:40:07
Disorders thank you.
00:40:07
00:40:08
Thank you.
00:40:15
The guy that walked on all fours.
00:40:18
Yeah.
00:40:18
That was spina bifida.
00:40:20
So when they do the Spina Bifida test definitely get.
00:40:23
A test yeah.
00:40:23
A test.
00:40:24
Well, yeah, so, so folate or folic acid is something that you know you want to start taking prenatal vitamins beforehand to ensure that you have a high level of full IC acid because it helps in the neural tube development, so that's the tube that encompases your spinal cord from your brain.
00:40:46
Down your spine so it can prevent some major birth defects such as Spina Bifida or in Acephale, which is where part of the skull doesn't form.
00:40:57
Wow.
00:40:57
And like the baby is like a shrunken head.
00:41:00
I mean, a lot of times the babies don't survive from that.
00:41:02
So those are things you definitely want to prevent against.
00:41:05
Yeah, in in so much so that you know, folic acid.
00:41:10
It's it's added to foods in enriched foods like cereal because a lot of people eat cereal, you know folic acid was added to that just to ensure that the general population has a
00:41:22
A pretty healthy diet of folic acid just because not all pregnancies are planned, or wanted so you don't have the time to prepare for it.
00:41:28
Sure.
00:41:32
So yeah, so folic acid is essential and.
00:41:36
There are some mushrooms that are higher in folic acid than.
00:41:42
Others, so those are going to be oyster in an oaky.
00:41:47
They have the highest fully content by a large margin when compared to others.
00:41:53
Oysters istud it's the woman was eating plastic last week.
00:41:54
Yeah.
00:41:56
It was eating a test.
00:41:57
It does a lot.
00:41:58
It eats plastic it tastes great.
00:42:00
It has different colors.
00:42:01
I feel like the oyster mushroom needs to get a little bit more props all around.
00:42:06
I mean, there aren't those.
00:42:08
The colorful ones too.
00:42:09
Yeah, they do everything.
00:42:10
Like yeah, they can like they're like unicorns.
00:42:12
Yeah.
00:42:15
So yeah, and then also you know brain development that starts early on in pregnancy and as we highlighted before, Lions name supports brain health brain development, you know, fights against Alzheimer's disease so you know, eat a lot of Lions mane, you know.
00:42:34
To keep that baby's brain healthy.
00:42:36
Awesome yeah, we want a healthy brain, we want health.
00:42:39
Spine healthy cranium, yeah, all these things if we can influence the health of our baby through mushrooms plug in A.
00:42:40
At the spine.
00:42:46
Yeah, Anan really.
00:42:48
Just in pregnancy.
00:42:49
It's you know you want to vary diet.
00:42:51
You want to try to eat as healthy as possible, because what you're putting in your body now, your baby will develop a taste for those items when when they're born so.
00:43:03
Yeah, any and then of course lots of fiber which is needed in pregnancy, yes.
00:43:08
So water.
00:43:08
00:43:09
Water.
00:43:09
We need some regularity.
00:43:11
Definitely the regularity gonna keep that going.
00:43:14
Didn't you just discover like the recipe to regularity.
00:43:17
Well, I increased my vegetable and fruit and water intake and I'm a regular two days now.
00:43:22
Fantastic.
00:43:25
Oh **** so pray for us specifically we have a pray for us that that trend continues because regularity is a beautiful thing.
00:43:32
Yeah, when your body aches and you know if you're not regular and your back hurts and your back already hurts 'cause you.
00:43:39
But
00:43:40
You know an extra 20 pounds you're carrying and a protrusion in your stomach.
00:43:45
There's a lot going on.
00:43:46
Well, I thank you for taking time out from your busy baby cultivating schedule, and to share with us.
00:43:51
Yep, happy to be here.
00:43:53
The info now next week.
00:43:55
Just to give the audience.
00:43:56
A heads up.
00:43:56
We're going to talk about a very poisonous team most poisonous mushroom so.
00:44:00
We're going to flip the script a little bit.
00:44:02
I'm excited for that, so stay tuned Jill.
00:44:05
I love you and thank you so much for being.
00:44:07
Here all right, bye bye.
00:44:07
Love you too bye.
00:44:07
Love you too.
00:44:09
Now, what's the?
00:44:10
What are the expectations in terms of the way that's going to resonate going for?
00:44:14
Work.
00:44:15
They recommend getting some kind of therapy or treatment or whatever alongside it, and for me, that's been learning cognitive and teaching myself cognitive behavioral therapy, OK, and so in focus.
00:44:24
OK, what does that mean exactly?
00:44:27
It works on like slowing down.
00:44:30
Judging your thoughts or not judging them is probably more accurate 'cause we already do that, but like judging them for what they are, if they're garbage, like in calling them out and then recommend again, being able to separate it so it really goes along with what this chemical can do as well.
00:44:48
But I'm in so.
00:44:51
You know, so cognitive behavioral therapy kind of works on how you behave in response to things.
00:44:57
OK.
00:44:57
And the nice thing is, compared to a lot of things and the reason I'm kind of really keen on it is.
00:45:02
It's different than, say, talk therapy, which could you could sit and talk to the same person for 10 to 25 or more years, right? Spa sounds? What happened?
00:45:11
More often.
00:45:11
00:45:14
It sounds awful if it OK.
00:45:15
Yeah, but it happens.
00:45:16
People do it and it's OK.
00:45:18
Like I'm not judging that at all.
00:45:19
Sure, sure.
00:45:20
I'm just but but this is a 15 you work on this with somebody for 15 Times Now.
00:45:28
The thing is 15 meetings in between those meetings the person, the page.
00:45:30
OK.
00:45:33
Jim.
00:45:34
Has to work on themselves to its home where there's homework involved and if they don't agree to do it, it's not going to work.
00:45:42
If they agree to do it, it just about always works and it's good for people who are treatment resistant, so it's really good for people who were like me like I was already.
00:45:54
I was already looking into cognitive behavioral therapy.
00:45:56
Before I find and maybe maybe reading it and studying a little bit gave me the guts to finally make the call and I would probably say 100% 'cause I gave me the guts to make the call to get this.
00:46:10
So you said 15 sessions roughly.
00:46:12
15 persons of CBT.
00:46:12
15
00:46:13
The CBT and I guess you were again like I'm not that knowledgeable.
00:46:17
I there's plenty of information out there and but you work through these things and you evaluate yourself when you examine how you get to think, thinking certain ways and and then address it and then again give yourself distance.
00:46:31
And and I would say like if everybody.
00:46:34
Who is doing CBT?
00:46:36
Got a couple of shots in the arm of.
00:46:38
This stuff like.
00:46:39
It would, it really goes together hand in hand, so wow.
00:46:43
Now, what kinda mean that's it's a schedule one right like the rest of the psychedelics and other things or is it classified different oh.
00:46:48
It's the free food breath.
00:46:50
Really, I thought it was scheduled one.
00:46:52
Now schedule 3.
00:46:53
So that means that.
00:46:55
I mean.
00:46:55
I.
00:46:55
The FDA approved any treatment.
00:46:56
No.
00:46:56
00:46:58
No, she had no idea.
00:46:59
That's why this is available.
00:46:59
That's Why?
00:46:59
00:47:01
Here's the thing, and so I'll get back to the ketamin.
00:47:04
Once you're given an FDA approval.
00:47:08
For you can have a primary purpose, but you can also have secondary purposes that if are benign.
00:47:15
Like and you know, I mean, it's been 9 anyway, 'cause it's FDA approved so.
00:47:19
Sure.
00:47:20
You know if I'm going to use a little bit for something else OK, and that's what this is, that's what the you know.
00:47:26
It's not being called and that's why sometimes it could be a little difficult insurance because.
00:47:31
It's an off use of this thing and you know, but there's a lot of future and growth for this.
00:47:37
It's really pretty exciting what's going to happen with this substance.
00:47:42
That's awesome man.
00:47:42
I love the fact too, that the doctors are getting you know clinics are getting involved even though you know, there's that taboo around it.
00:47:50
People are still willing to you know take people that are maybe a little bit apprehensive about the experience or have tried other stuff and kind of introduce them to that, even though their primary care.
00:47:59
Doctor is not going to mention it.
00:48:01
You know, or the pediatrician is not going to mention it.
00:48:03
But the fact that they were opening their doors.
00:48:05
Without you know with the stigma being there and allowing people to get treatment is pretty awesome.
00:48:10
Yeah, yeah, it's you know again, in an I I with those other sessions I had from Sessions.
00:48:19
If you want to I can share with those things you know.
00:48:22
I mean, concession 2.
00:48:24
Yeah, please.
00:48:24
00:48:24
Yeah, was another experience like session two and in pretty much every experience started.
00:48:24
Please.
00:48:29
Now there is a quick tolerance you gain on this drug.
00:48:33
So session two, I think I I went to.
00:48:38
Uh, we did 80 and then we went to 100. I think went to 100 and session two so it's 50 which was the big dose that like put me over last time I got one of those again. Very relaxed. It was 15 minutes 15 minutes felt.
00:48:46
OK.
00:48:53
Maybe like 5 minutes.
00:48:55
It felt a little short felt, you know I was in a pretty good place, felt relaxed.
00:48:58
Maybe like you know half the time.
00:49:00
So there's some time loss or differential differentation or whatever.
00:49:04
But then when that second dose hit.
00:49:08
Again, I felt like at that point I was.
00:49:12
I was at the top of this building and then I started crumbling backwards and dropping wow and my whole consciousness started dropping.
00:49:21
Similar to like that of a video game like it wasn't different than if you could imagine just dropping down some endless.
00:49:29
You know well.
00:49:30
In a video game kind of experience, bricks, bricks, bricks, bricks, you know, coming up around you and stuff like that.
00:49:35
And I felt that for a while.
00:49:39
And then just kind of felt you know, incredibly again, I felt that.
00:49:44
Being packed under kind of ice again both.
00:49:47
So those are my first 2 experiences an.
00:49:51
We're very similar in that sense and not too heavy duty.
00:49:56
A little dark.
00:49:57
I mean, I would say they were dark, but I I don't remember that part.
00:50:00
So if you're listening at home and you have your second one and go holy **** sorry it may have been darker than I'm explaining because I think those first two were darker.
00:50:10
But like where I got through just feeling kind of ******
00:50:14
Uh, by the third one though, and so the third one was 100. I went from I went from.
00:50:23
I went from 100 to 140.
00:50:25
Me.
00:50:27
Was it broken up into 2?
00:50:29
Yeah yeah 1771 an anime.
00:50:35
And I don't remember the exact doses in between.
00:50:38
I didn't I I videotaped myself talking about it, but like I don't remember the exact number, but it went up a bunch.
00:50:44
OK.
00:50:44
And from the third one through the 6th one.
00:50:50
I did question my sanity and I did question whether I had just died. I and I I was more than I thought. Oh Christ, I've just been like sucked into the universe like I felt like I had become part of the digital universe 100% without thinking this is a psychedelic I'm on.
00:51:08
Did it feel right?
00:51:10
Did it feel like that?
00:51:10
Was the way it was supposed to be?
00:51:13
Oh 100%. I mean, I completely dis associated, you're supposed to do that like that's the like. The magic really kicks in when you think you're toast like.
00:51:13
Oh.
00:51:23
OK.
00:51:24
You know, if if you're just having some kind of cool movie ride experience that you know Busch Gardens, that's not enough.
00:51:32
OK.
00:51:32
You gotta go, oh **** they gave me too much.
00:51:36
Or, you know, you know.
00:51:38
But in the thing you're not, you're not like you're not like trip like in some kind of weird slow mode deal like I just kind of.
00:51:45
So.
00:51:45
But you, you're pretty lucid and you think you're you've just crossed into another thing.
00:51:52
Sure.
00:51:53
Your consciousness is completely gonzo like you're you know.
00:51:57
So again, like from for me personally at my weight and you know it is variable for milligrams and kilograms.
00:52:05
But from for me for the 140 through an I did get up to 200 milligrams that my final dose was 200 milligrams.
00:52:13
Each of those times and more every time up, I completely thought I had become I I I kind of thought I had died but death wasn't the experience I thought I had just become part of the matrix.
00:52:28
I thought I had completely like like become part of this digital thing where my brain had been completely sucked into.
00:52:37
The digital reality.
00:52:38
We can't see any you know around us and so thus like and I thought like.
00:52:40
Insane.
00:52:44
I had lost my mind.
00:52:45
I thought I had, I thought and I thought I had lost everything around me.
00:52:48
I thought if this is my new reality, that old reality like and I felt it was.
00:52:55
I mean there's so many things honestly, like I'd have to put into complete words all the experiences.
00:53:01
Sure.
00:53:02
But
00:53:03
You absolutely feel like you've been absorbed into.
00:53:07
The simulated reality that's not visible one.
00:53:11
Question does it have like the does it have a peak is there a climax kind of like with psilocybin where you ramp up to it?
00:53:18
Is it like a persistent strength, the whole way through.
00:53:22
No it it.
00:53:24
Uhm?
00:53:26
It moves pretty quick.
00:53:28
When on that second shot an it stays.
00:53:30
OK.
00:53:32
There for a while you're there for.
00:53:34
A good half hour like or 20 minute speaking like you're picking for a bit.
00:53:37
OK.
00:53:39
And when you when you end the experience is it like an abrupt ending or is there like a gradual decline.
00:53:45
No, no, almost similar to like trying to think of the movie well, kind of like Indiana Jones.
00:53:53
I will make a lot of references right where the skin comes off of everybody that Nazis at the end where it's melting.
00:54:00
Yeah.
00:54:00
Well, if you did that in reverse, I start feeling like my fleshly.
00:54:04
Returning back, the only thing that I'm connected to an I kind of lost connection in part of the latter.
00:54:11
Freeze.
00:54:12
Was the windbags I was stuck in on 'cause I'm always conscious of breathing when I trip.
00:54:16
OK.
00:54:16
00:54:16
OK, 'cause I always want to make sure that I'm breathing sure and it's my connection back to conscious reality.
00:54:23
It'll so.
00:54:25
But like I felt like like literally, I could feel like I was just operating these windbags.
00:54:31
They weren't my lungs.
00:54:32
There's these these you know.
00:54:33
I mean they were what they really are.
00:54:35
Ann
00:54:37
And so, and so when I came back like you start to feel your flesh come back and you feel your hands you know I could feel my hands and I could feel the bone like everything starting to kind of like reform in a sense.
00:54:52
And then.
00:54:54
You know, again, I usually try to use the restroom right after that, 'cause you want to, you want to hydrate a bunch just to get this out of your system as much as possible.
00:55:00
OK.
00:55:03
As fast as you can.
00:55:05
And you you probably, and you haven't drank for an hour and a half 'cause they don't want you to drink any.
00:55:09
Water you know for oh.
00:55:10
You know?
00:55:10
00:55:10
You can't go pee in the middle of the session.
00:55:12
No, no yeah you want to.
00:55:14
Pee Wee before you start and then, but of course you haven't gone for awhile and you also getting this output.
00:55:20
But that's a funny world, you know, like walking around in this half, you know.
00:55:26
Anesthesia kind of experience and everything's there aren't there? I mean, the first few things you may not get along. Oh my God, I forgot. There are a lot of parts where you feel like you're completely behind the scenes of reality. That's another thing that, for those of you who have ever been in a theater where.
00:55:48
You look up in the corners and it's all black, but there's some purple paint and purple lights and things because that's where you can put things and it's not going to affect what's on stage.
00:55:58
Yeah.
00:55:59
You go there like you spend time in that place like it's this behind the scenes part of reality.
00:56:06
And again, maybe it's just my reality but damn, did it feel like I mean.
00:56:13
My takeaway is you get to.
00:56:17
Really tap into these.
00:56:19
Other realities that are incredibly digital, not dissimilar from this one, but just like.
00:56:29
A fast moving and unbeliev like just really really something.
00:56:33
But again because of the distance between that reality and this one.
00:56:37
When you come back to it.
00:56:40
You're you know you're you're separate from all those.
00:56:43
******** ideas used to have.
00:56:45
Man I I'm so happy for you that you had that experience.
00:56:48
I mean that is extremely Paz.
00:56:49
Yep.
00:56:52
That I learned a lot about ketamine.
00:56:55
I really had no idea what it entailed and I really, you know, I want to at some point experience it for myself.
00:57:02
But I am really happy that it's available for people that are struggling with whatever you know whether it be anxiety, depression, feedback loops.
00:57:10
I'm really happy that you found that man and I'm happy you shared it.
00:57:13
Yeah.
00:57:14
I thank you have is that had to be difficult to you know to go through and come back and tell us all that stuff.
00:57:21
Yeah.
00:57:21
Well, I think it.
00:57:24
Yeah, yeah, it's it's it's.
00:57:27
It's something that again like has been.
00:57:28
It was would have been impossible to share a whole lot without this, but like I have, I have a certain level of confidence and also a lack of concern of judgment of you know.
00:57:43
You know about anyone's judgment about you know, and so because of that, like, yeah, it's just just a lot easier. Everything is easier right now, you know, and I've just got so much distance.
00:57:56
Between everything and and then I've developed, you know, skills that if I do get the least bit if something comes in that I don't care for.
00:58:04
I've also developed skills like just.
00:58:07
Here's one for.
00:58:08
Here's a cognitive behavioral therapy skill.
00:58:10
If you feel anxious.
00:58:12
Pay attention to so like look at something else.
00:58:14
Like for instance, I got a poster of the DC comic Heroes.
00:58:18
We've got.
00:58:18
Aquaman.
00:58:19
Shazam Superman, Firestorm I think isn't Batman Flash so.
00:58:24
She.
00:58:25
Sam made it up there.
00:58:25
What?
00:58:25
00:58:26
Shazam's up there, Captain Marvel an you know, but if you. If you I've got all of them, they're all up there, but if you if.
00:58:28
All right.
00:58:37
There it is.
00:58:39
Yeah, if you.
00:58:41
Do that in like step away and like count 5 things for real.
00:58:47
Five different things observe five different things.
00:58:50
You will not come back to the same level anxiety you can't.
00:58:53
Interesting.
00:58:54
So do that like.
00:58:56
Give yourself that gift and that.
00:58:57
CPT 101
00:58:59
Yeah and then then then you.
00:59:00
Can start from some better place because you can't operate from that height in place of terrible thinking.
00:59:07
At least that's what I've come to realize about myself.
00:59:09
I can operate from ****** places of thinking and if I catch myself being there, I gotta do something or just catching myself is pretty good.
00:59:17
Like I'm not saying I have to like start.
00:59:19
Counting things, but it helps.
00:59:21
Now I love it, man.
00:59:22
Thank you so much for sharing that for the listeners that heard or maybe didn't hear the name of the clinic at the beginning of the podcast.
00:59:29
What is the name of the facility again that you went to?
00:59:31
It's called the Clarice on a KLR, Claire Isa na I think, and they they operate out of Austin, Texas, Denver and Westminster, Co.
00:59:45
Awesome and maybe New Mexico too, but.
00:59:48
But they're growing and and yeah, I'm I'm a big fan.
00:59:52
Awesome, well Patrick I love you.
00:59:53
Thank you so much for sharing that.
00:59:54
Thanks baby, I love you too man.
00:59:55
I'll talk to you.
00:59:56
Later, alright, see you later.